I hope you guys have had a very Merry Christmas!
Wow! We are already at the end of the year. Can you believe it? It feels like it was just two months ago when I was bringing in the new year at home, drinking a little wine with my family as we ate and laughed at the past like we always do.
It doesn’t surprise me that this year went by so fast. It seems like whenever you have real plans for yourself, and you have goals you’re trying to achieve, time blows by. Does that seem to happen with you guys?
I have learned so much about myself this year. 2018 was a mentally challenging year for me. This is when I had my first serious anxiety attack. Nothing could prevent me from crying my eyes out at work, so much that I had to leave the job and go get my mom so she could comfort me. I didn’t like my life, and I wasn’t sure if I could handle faking it anymore.
Honestly, before this year, I didn’t fully understand what an anxiety attack was or what it felt like to have one. The day, almost made me give up what I fought to have for so long…an accounting job that pays me great money so I can began to build my life. All of this was behind how I perceived my situation.
I learned so much from this, and it is changing the way I handle myself mentally, in my career, and around others.
Earrings – (similar)
Enjoy Your Life As It Is…Don’t Wait!
One thing I learned about myself when I was mentally recovering from my anxiety attack is that I didn’t enjoy my life. I work so much on my goals that I have completely forgotten how to have fun and live the life I want. You have to allow yourself to enjoy the life you currently have. Even if you aren’t 100% living your dreams, what you currently have is worth celebrating. Always focus on the positive things going on in your life.
Before I moved to this new(er) job, one of the things I wished for was a job making what I currently make. I wanted to be able to support myself, hopefully build a home, revamp my wardrobe a bit, and travel the world. Once I was financially able to do those things (with a bit of budgeting) all I allowed myself to think about was what I didn’t have.
I am going to be honest with you guys. Accounting is not a job I actually love to do. Most of the time I am extremely exhausted after work, because I have spent 9 hours of my day dedicated to work I don’t really care about doing which is mentally draining. With all that being said, I do recognize how blessed I really am.
While I am fighting for my dreams, God didn’t just allow me to have a minimal job with minimal money coming through my accounts. He has allowed me to bring in an amount that can bless me while I am on my journey. I plan to enjoy this level of success I am on, and celebrate with family and friends on these accomplishments I have been blessed to achieve thus far.
Comparison Will Literally Steal Your Joy!
Another thing I learned about myself this year is that I was always comparing my career journey to all of the other bloggers and YouTubers out there. This day and age, while we have the ability to glance into each others lives through social media, it is so easy to want what someone else has.
I would spend so much time on my phone peaking into the lives of others and wondering why my time hasn’t come yet. We have no idea what people are going through or what they had to endure in order to make it to where they are today. Those little squares on Instagram are made to be perfect, and I can’t dictate how my journey is supposed to go based on what I see through social media.
I know my career isn’t picture perfect at the moment, but I’ve learned not to compare it to others. As long as I continually put God first, and take strides to make my dreams come true then they will manifest before my very eyes. It may not be in the way I imaged, but it will happen how it is supposed to happen for me.
Control Your Mind
Not only was I not living and constantly comparing my journey to other people, but I was allowing myself to have negative thoughts about my life. Your mind is a sacred place, but if you don’t have control of the things you allow to run through it…it can ruin you.
I allowed things such as these statements to occupy my mind “By now her blog was able to support her full time” and “They did such a great job, but that won’t happen for you”. Crazy thing is, listening to these thoughts is what pushes succeeding further on than it has to be.
Have you ever heard of the quote “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you can’t”. This is absolutely true. If you have been allowing yourself to have these thoughts like I was, look at your situation. Are you not as far along as you would have hoped to be? Did you allow yourself to entertain those negative thoughts that you’re not good enough?
Try giving yourself a fair chance. Believe in yourself. Eliminate the negative thoughts, and go full force for what you want. Fight hard for it for a year with positive thoughts, and positive people surrounding you along the way. Around this time in 2019, look at your progress and see how much further positivity has gotten you than negativity.
Enjoy Your Season…Because It Won’t Last!
I have also learned that every season doesn’t last for ever. Your next situation can be better for you, or it can test your faith and strength. Do you know what usually happens when people reach their goals? They create more goals. They’ve just adjusted to their new situation.
Nothing lasts always, so enjoy where you are. My therapist has reminded me to be present in the moment. In each season of our lives we are supposed to learn, grow, and become stronger. If you are not present during your season, one of two things can happen. Either you will miss the season and not learn what would have helped you in the next phase of your life, or God will keep you there until you learn what you need to learn.
Either way, life goes on and time is being spent. No matter how many fears I may have, the biggest one is regret. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to regret not taking advantage of the time I was given to prepare and reflect.
Life goes by so fast and she never gives a warning when things are about to switch up. Please enjoy the time God has given you to prepare yourselves for what He has for you. I have learned to take advantage of the downtime God has blessed me with now. Soon, things will be going so fast in my life that personal time and preparation will be considered more of a luxury than luxurious material items.
-Ashley
