I remember a time not too long ago when I felt like I didn’t have control in my life. When you’re young, you feel like once you get older you will have everything you want. Everything will be perfect, because you will be in complete control of what happens in your life.
Fast forward to the age of 28, when I found myself having anxiety attacks, because time was running away from me and I wasn’t happy. Based on my 13 year old self, by now “everything should be perfect”. Life was so much easier 15 years ago…where did I lose control?
And the most important question…how do I get it back?
Lose the Expectations
I’ve based my happiness on so many goals and aspirations. To be honest I’ve been this way since I was a kid.
What if I don’t meet those goals? What if I do meet them, and it doesn’t turn out how I expect it to?
Before college, I made the goal to be an accountant. So I took control of my education, resources, and made it happen. I’ve been an accountant for about 6 years now. But on the second day of my first accounting job, I knew I wouldn’t like this career.
For 2 years I stayed at that job thinking this is how life should be. I thought as an adult all of your fulfillment is gone, and you have to stick with your degree.
“This is the career you chose Ashley so deal with it.” I would say that to myself often, and in the back of my mind I felt that I had lost control of my life.
Once I got out of my own way, I was able to regain control of my life. I started using my job for what is was, an asset to finance my small business. Yeah, things didn’t turn out how I expected them too, but the road I turned to is now full of excitement and passion.
Pray several times a day
I am a firm believer that God aligns our hearts and lives with where He wants us to be. He has a plan for all of us on this earth, and we have a purpose to fulfill while we are here.
I have so much passion around blogging, my YouTube channel, and being able to help women around the world with mental health and confidence.
He has me in this business for a reason.
I went through all of my struggles for a reason.
When I feel like I am losing control of things in my life, I now try to make sure I am connected with God regularly. He directs all of my paths. So when I feel lost, I’m sure to go to the one with all of the answers, and who is able to comfort me in all of my struggles.
Stop looking for Control
When you are constantly looking to be in control of your life, you make it easier for you to lose it. If something happens that alters your plan, it’s too easy for you to solely focus on how you lost control in the first place.
When I realized that accounting wasn’t the career for me, I lost 2 years of my time, because I was so focused on how this could have happened to me.
I had a well thought out plan, and I did everything I was supposed to do. Unfortunately, I still found myself unhappy.
Those 2 years could have been used in productive ways that would have gotten me on this career path to blogging a lot sooner. Sometimes we have to go with the flow in order to regain control.
Once balance is restored, you’ll realize that you really never lost control. You really just changed directions.
Be open minded about having control in your life.
You just might find yourself in a happier place with adjusting to what God sends you through.
-Ashley
Great article, Ashley. It’s so good to know that God is in control of the direction of our lives. His Word encourages is that if we delight(cheerfully submit) ourselves (our willful soul), He would give us the desires of our hearts.
You seem to be walking in your calling, and it looks good on you.
Continue to walk in God’s choicest blessings for your life.
wow! I am where you were! Basically just going with the flow. Thank you for your honesty and transparency!
I just found and love your YouTube channel.
You’ve given me much to think about!
I’m also a follower on your social media!
Stay blessed me sistah!
Thank you Rosemary! I’m so glad you’ve found my YouTube channel! I can’t wait to get back filming. Thank you for your comment hun & stay blessed as well!