Usually spring time is used for cleaning out your closet, but today I want to address the cleaning of mistakes most women make (including myself at times).
Beyoncé had it right when she proclaimed in one of her many national anthems for women…”Who run the world? Girls!” Oh and honey I am a firm believer of this. Women have more influence than you could ever imagine when it comes to the ways of the world. We bring life into the world and we help mold beings. Let me give you a small image of the power we have.
For instance, when it comes to relationships, I know you guys have heard the saying “a man will treat you how you allow him to treat you”. Meaning if he treats you like a hoe (or whore) you’re allowing him to, and if he treats you like a queen you’re demanding him to. Not to take away from the beautiful supremacy of a man, but with all of this power women have why are there so many of us walking around insecure and lost?
Are there not many people discussing the great things about being a woman? Do we need more influential women speaking out and discussing the mistakes they’ve made and the lessons they’ve learned from them? I’m sure all of the above will help.
For now I will settle for discussing the few things I used to be guilty of doing, and have recently found myself guilty of allowing others to do around me. Here are 3 mistakes I feel most women make in the use of their power.
Comparing Ourselves to Others
I remember having this mistake hard copied into my brain in such a bad way that after five years of trying to get rid of this flaw I am still working on it today. Who knows, I may be working on not comparing myself to others another five years from now. Outside of myself, I see women do this so much. Honestly, this is a thing men do as well…but this post is not about them lol.
We waste so much time comparing ourselves to other women physically, mentally, financially, and in status, but not enough time building ourselves up so there is no comparison needed. You can be your own definition of great that no other person can tap, because you have dedicated precious time to discovering who you are and magnifying your greatness.
Comparing yourself to others is only doing you the injustice. You deserve to be recognized and focused on, and it can only start with you making the first move of not comparing.
Top: Nordstrom Rack | Jeans: Nordstrom Rack | Cardigan: Ashley Stewart |
Shoes: Payless Similar | Necklace: Stella & Dot Similar
Limiting Our Happiness On Looks & Status
It’s easy to feel good when you have a body like Rihanna, the house with the 3 car garage, the wonderful husband, those beautiful kids, a credit score of 750, and a checking and savings account with no less than 5 or 6 figures each. I’m on cloud 9 just talking about it!
But what if you’re 30 still living with your parents, or 29 and single, or overweight like myself? How would you feel about yourself then? Would you feel worthless or as if you don’t deserve the goals and aspirations you have for yourself? We put too much stock in physical appearance and status in order to be happy. It sort of goes hand in hand with comparing ourselves to others.
We sometimes say “if I could just lose this weight I would be happy” or “if I can just get married I would be alright”. You’re basing you happiness on what you think your life should be. If life throws you a curve ball…what then? I am a firm believer that God has a plan for us all. There is so much we can do on our own to be ready for when He blesses us, but there is no point of being miserable in your preparation stage. That is not what He wants us to feel. Happiness is a choice, so choose it now even though things are not going your way.
Tearing Other Women Down
Do you know how much easier it is to pull yourself up from the edge of a cliff when you have others helping you? I personally don’t know either, but I can imagine how helpful it would be to get that kind of support. I think women should do the same thing for other women.
There is no gratification in talking about another woman besides a quick boost of self-esteem and a slight chuckle. It’s so much more beneficial to lift each other up. If someone’s hair isn’t looking right, help her out and fix it. If you see your coworker wearing the same blouse every week, then give her a break…she may not be able to afford more clothes.
I’m not going to make it seem like every time you try to build up another woman that it will be accepted with open arms. Honestly, I would rather feel good doing what is right than laughing and feeling good while doing wrong towards someone else.
I hope you guys enjoyed this post. I want to grow with you guys so I decide to write about things I want to focus on perfecting in life to be a better person :).
Do you guys struggle with any of these mistakes? What are some other mistakes we may struggle with that come to your mind?
Until next time,
-Ashley
