Picture a young Ashley Morgan, let’s say she is around 16 years old. Ashley is a sophomore in high school, on the varsity cheerleading squad, and a size 16. Not only is Ashley a young, plus size lady but she was also constantly in front of the entire school with the continuous pressure to “look” like a cheerleader.
Though very smart for her age, Ashley is naïve and passive despite her natural ability to defend herself with her whit. She is constantly being called “the big cheerleader”.
She was being told that if she losses the weight, she would be “fine” and “perfect” as if her size 16 frame could not help her accomplish great things.
She also experienced the mothers of other cheerleading mates snarling at her while being encouraged by her cheerleading coach, because she had to sit out of a basketball game due to her uniform not fitting though it never did. The women told her “you should be embarrassed”, “that doesn’t make any sense, Ashley. You are getting too big”, and “you need to make some serious changes right now!”… 5 older women to one teenager.
Despite all of this she still walked with her head high, but that didn’t keep the comments from slowing affecting the way she felt about herself.
One thing I have learned about being a plus size woman is that there are many days when my mind tries to pull me into what society says I should look like. To be honest, this is not just a “plus size” struggle. There are many women who sometimes wish they were prettier, wish they had certain talents, and they constantly compare themselves to other women.
This post is not to insist that all plus size women don’t have confidence in themselves and their looks. I will say though, it would be ignorant of me to assume that there aren’t women out there that have gone through the storm of low self-esteem not only because of their thoughts, but also the opinion of others being pressed upon them.
As you read above, I went through it myself.
It wasn’t until a couple years ago when I learned to start thinking for myself, and I began rebuilding my self-esteem. There are so many people who feel it is their duty to tell you what you should do, how you should look, and what is best for you.
Not even grown women knew the concept of encouraging and being kind to an impressionable teenager during what really was an embarrassing moment. On the other hand, they might have known but did not care, because they were too disgusted at the fact that the teenager could not fit her cheerleading uniform.
I want to tell you guys its ok to put your foot down. If you lose friends in the process…so be it. If someone happens to get in their feelings, because they didn’t expect you to not accept their rude and pretentious comments about you and your body…oh well.
You’re well-being is more important.
You’re mental health is more important
Pretty much everything is more important than someone needing to get something off their chest about the way you look.
We all know when comments and suggestions are really coming from a place of love, but don’t confuse those comments with standards trying to be pushed into your life. Walk with your head up and take control of your confidence.
You are beautiful.
You are talented.
You are stronger and more powerful than you think!
Comment below! What were some times when someone tried to impress their body standards on you?
Until next time my loves,